The Myths of Bedford v. Canada: Why decriminalizing prostitution won’t help.

You must go RIGHT NOW to this post written for The F- Word Media Collective by law student Laura Johnston about the Bedford decision. It clarifies so much and shows all the false arguments built into the case.
http://www.feminisms.org/3265/the-myths-of-bedford-v-canada-why-decriminalizing-prostitution-won%E2%80%99t-help/
GO. read. NOW!

Gentrifiers, hate what you've done with the place.

I live in a neighbourhood that is undergoing massive transformation. Massive transformation. 

I should explain my neighbourhood. I live in close proximity to the largest social housing project in the city, full of the beautiful people. We also have 2 other social housing buildings within a 7 block radius. We have an "inner-city" school full of  passionate, smart, committed teachers who deal with some kids that come to school daily burdened with issues much bigger than what 1 + 1 equals, that must be dealt with before one can learn. We do have desperate women who turn to street level prostitution that wander our streets,some mom's from our neighbourhood who go out once income assistance checks have been stretched as thinly as they can,  but the problem is with are the arrogant men who ask ALL of us if we are working, and the pimps who bring other women here to exploit them.
Let me be clear, I NEED shoddy housing to be able to afford to stay in my neighbourhood... let's be truthful. I need shoddy housing anywhere to be able to live as well as pay the bills and eat.
Since our gentrification started, I have had this simmering panic that one month my landlord is going to say "I sold the house, here's your 3 month notice". That my friends is a shitty feeling. I can't tell the kids I'm scared, I want to kiss my 30+ year old old school laminate flooring everyday that we are here. Everyday I don't have to tell my kids, "we are moving so someone else who has more  options than us, can choose to ignore what their actions are doing to others and they can move here" is a good day
I get it you have money, you have a "right" to take over wherever you want, but can you let me live here for 8 more years. Let my kids finish school? Let my autistic son live out the life he sees for himself and finds comfort in?
I mean, we wanted a new library & community center for well... ever. You build 3 or 4 apartment buildings, and voila we have both of them in no time. Then all of a sudden members of our community we have taken care of for ages have no where to go. Molly sat in the library ALL the time, but because a few of the new people complained they didn't fell comfortable with her solo conversation she has for hours on end and the enormous amounts of stuff she has with her, she is only allowed in now for short periods of time.
I know I shouldn't refer to the new neighbours as "them" but how do you discuss a collective group of people who are threatening mine & my kids security. Who have a particular way of doing things and because everyone knows they are the ones with money things happen, like Molly being displaced out of the library, or prostituted women not being able to use a coffee shops washroom because they have not bought a drink. Well then, I'll buy them a drink and you better damn well not come up with another excuse to deny her access to a bathroom!! A bathroom. What does that say about us when people can't use a bathroom.
I also know I am not talking about millionaires here, most are "middle class" but actions are actions, attitudes are attitudes. Standards are standards. When the "newbies" move in then they want stores/coffee shops/ gyms/ etc that is a part of their everyday lives that maybe have not been a part of ours and as those stores are created to cater to them we(me/my family/ friends/ the original neighbours) find ourselves surrounded by spaces we can't access.
I want to be kind to everyone, but how do I be kind to a group of people who I know eventually will displace me & mine for their own want. Who edge me & mine out of spaces because we don't fit the bill. Although the thing that irritates me the most is the judgments they heap everywhere, maybe not with words but suddenly we have houses with locked gates across their back car park. Have sign on the front lawn and window of the high tech security systems in their homes.That look at my moacha skinned, man sized teenager in a way makes me scared for him when he leaves my house.  That creates an "us" & "them" feeling all in it's self.
I am also reminded that this is Thanksgiving weekend, the colonizers holiday. when we celebrate the "original" gentrification.  I know there is a push to have it be a weekend to give thanks, but at who's expense are we giving thanks.I think it is important to address the reality of this weekend, not try to push the horror of it aside. I know the indigenous women I walk through life with, and learn from have no chance to not confront the horror on a regular/daily basis.
I will never know what it was like to have my land invaded. To be killed, raped, and have my language striped of me, be forced to live on parcels of land doled out by those who have decimated your culture and traditions. My heart and solidarity goes out to indigenous people, my son's people.
But I have the teeniest, tiniest glimpse of what it feels like to be in a constant state of living in the anxiety that one day you come home to that piece of paper that says, "You're out"
I have to take one of my littles to school....we'll walk down the alley with new houses we'll never live in, walk by gates that were not there 3 years ago, and be glared at by the new neighbors who aren't sure about tattoos & purple hair on a parent. I will smile and say "Good Morning" hoping that my politeness does not encourage more to move here.
All I want is to have a home. My home & I really. really like this home.

The voice for the voiceless.....

I have decided I hate this phrase.

Ok, maybe not hate as it does have it's time and place... maybe it's just overused.

I have been so extraordinarily blessed in life since transitioning away from a life full of the form of sexual exploitation called prostitution.

In my first years out of the life I was surrounded by a group of women who gave to me more than I can ever possibly find words to explain. Day or night, for every instance I needed assistance of of them would help me and my family. To this day they are my biggest supporters and for all intents an purposes my family.

I would then go on to cover the Pickton trial, it would be the hardest, loneliest, bleakest, taxing and yet enormously rewarding year of my life.

From there I invited into a more formal learning, learning a vernacular for what I know to be my truths. That vernacular was radical feminism. Learning at the feet of some of the most important women in Canada who have committed their lives to improving the lives of Canadian women.

What I did - and still do - is realize is I have more to learn in most situations than teach.

I have sat with women from S.Korea, Okinawa, Sri Lanka, Philippines, Haiti, Nigeria, Amsterdam, the most marginalized women of Canada, Indigenous women, Sweden, my gosh.. many other countries.

You know what I did?

Listened.

You know what they did?

Taught.

You know what they used?

Their God given voice.

My knickers are getting in a knot about phrases like "voice of the voiceless" 'saving" "rescue" ugh. please.

What we should be saying is empower, systemic change, holding men accountable for their actions. Those words however aren't as sexy as rescue, save etc, those words let us look like the hero, do something in us. Fill some hole, stroke pride, something.

They are also words that don't challenge. Don't change the status quo.

As someone who left prostitution the more I hear people talk like that the more pissy I get. I did not need rescuing  I did not need "saving"what I needed was opportunities - meaningful opportunities- to change my life. Using the rescue vernacular does not allow room for the subtlety and nuances of women's lives and situations.
I like to think I'm smart, headstrong, opinionated, and above all else a mom, provider and fighter. "Saving" me was not going to feed my children, women coming alongside me showing a different way , loving me without ANY agenda, showing me new opportunities, giving me new choices is what made the difference and will make the difference for most in the sex industry. 

My friend CS told this story told to her by her grandmother, told to her by her grandmother, at an event once and I think you should hear it.

Some women were by the river and all of a sudden they noticed babies floating by in the water, so they jumped in and grabbed out the babies. Some women would wade in a grab them as they came down the river then hand them to the women on shore, women started drying off the babies, checking to make sure they weren't hurt, then the babies started crying and another woman fed the babies, and so it would go like an assembly line. One women started walking up the river though, and the other women called her back to help, where are you going they asked? She said, I'm going to go find where these babies are coming from.

CS's Gran probably tells it much better and probably has that grandma smell to her that makes the story all the more nostalgic but you get the picture.

Rescue, voiceless, save, all are part of the assembly line.

Empower, systemic issues, hold accountable, guaranteed livable income, smash patriarchy, END colonialism, are all going up the mountain words. With out these changes, we are on nothing more than an assembly live. A necessary assembily line as we need to change the lived reality for the women if front of us, and in foreign countires sometimes you do need to smash in doors and rescue women & girls. 

Yes, not everyone can sit at the feet of the women I have, I have to listen to them and teach what they taught me. When I do though. I better be damn sure I am saying it right and I am not letting my perception change what they taught me. I am accountable to them, I answer to them. I care more about what they think of me, than the people I am talking to. If I worry about making people uncomfortable with what I need to say, I best be quiet. And sometimes still in this world of fighting human trafficking/ abolition people want to hear themselves talk more than they want to give others a platform to use their voice.

My friend LH an aboriginal woman who has taught me much and is unwavering in her demands for aboriginal women's equality says "We have space, your in it. We have voices, you need to listen"

Let's face it HT is the new sexy cause everyone and their mother has jumped on the bandwagon. Which I guess is.. uh. well it's something.

Abolition is about boldness. About speaking truth, and not being willing to back down for one second on any of the large and systemic issues. One cannot flinch in this debate. People’s lives, my life, my friend’s lives, our global sisters’ lives are on the line. If your in this to make friends or you care what people think of you, please exit bandwagon at the next stop. 

If you have been at this for less than say..2 years, only listen. If you must speak it should usually only be to ask questions from those who have been at this for decades ( trust me I do this, I've been at this a while and have PERSONAL experience at being a prostitute so that right there gives me a different authority, but doesn't change the fact I have MUCH to learn from MANY wise women ) 

To many eager people read a book, get all impassioned and think they know it all. You.don't. sorry but it's the truth. 

If I want to know Canadian history, I talk to aboriginal peoples not read about it in some book written by some colonizer (my son's socials teacher found me problematic to say the least as I refused to let him believe most of the crap in his history textbook about Canadian history)

You want to know about HT/Prostitution talk to US, and then get out of the way so WE can speak. 

Here we go

I have a few things to say, a few different places I say some of it. But I also have other things to say, share, ponder, question and vent about. Don't expect great editing or fancy visuals or even complete thoughts sometimes. I hope this is organic, as I learn, things change. I hope this has funny moments have you seen this?! Irreverent moments here, here, and sometimes completely useless moments and info that I feel compelled to share in the info saturated world.

A lot of it will seriously look at women's issues, abolition and women's equality. I will also try to map the journey I am on of finding my faith without the filter of patriarchy and unpack some of the ridiculous and sometimes hateful and completely un -Christ-like, traditions of "religion" that have nothing to do with God, like the ones Bill Maher points out here. My posts will tend to be hyperlink heavy and I hope you go down the bunny trail.

Not the greatest first post, eh?

Here's hoping this gets better, hope you'll stick with me :)